I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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