david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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