Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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