I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize