and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Randomize