i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
