Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I would fuck him just for his dog
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
