I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
