hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Mom said you looked used
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize