i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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