I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
