Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You can't special order awesome
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize