A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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