So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
