you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
