i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i out mim tonsoeep
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