well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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