I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
