dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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