id be glad to
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
