I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
