Apparently you make a good broom.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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