I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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