Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize