Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
