does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize