Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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