If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
