Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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