Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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