the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
