I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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