i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
