It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
