just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
