I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
