would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
