I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You need a sexual gate keeper
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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