Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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