i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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