This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
