I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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