man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize