your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
