I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
