His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
