Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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