dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
