heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
