Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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