I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
