I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
