guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
