Tell her she can't have a vagina
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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