Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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