Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
