He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
