So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
