It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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