I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
last night I used snow as a chaser
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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