my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it glows. i had to have it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
