I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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