bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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